WITHOUT TRUST IN OUR TRUE SELVES, WE MIGHT ALSO SELL OUT OUR PRINCIPLES TO GAIN THE APPROVAL OF OTHERS, OR TO BELONG TO THE “WITH-IT” GROUP OF THE MOMENT. THEN ONE DAY THAT GROUP IS REPLACED BY ANOTHER ONE AND WE ARE LOST INDEED. THE VERY THING WE FEARED HAPPENED, AND WE OURSELVES ENGINEERED THE MEANS.
By Rabbi Chay Amar
None of us are perfect. Imperfection is an innate part of life. The approval of others does not render us perfect, so our efforts are best directed toward internal growth, rather than, say, aiming to grow our social media networks. In fact, there is tremendous beauty and value to our imperfection, because it gives us the opportunity to strive toward perfection. In that effort to improve, to overcome challenges and to see through adversity to the other side, we become vessels for perfection. If you really understand this concept you then become more compassionate toward your flawed self, and in that compassion, again touch absolute beauty.
With a healthy self-esteem, you no longer have a need to compromise your values or bend to everybody else’s desires. You stand strong when you should and are secure enough to be flexible when necessary. Most important, your soul is your navigator; you are completely self-directed.
Our sages teach us that every creation—with man as the quintessential example—is endowed with a purpose. It is our duty to know firmly that G-d gave us this mission, instilling in us the qualities and power needed to fulfill our very unique mission. The mere understanding that the single most powerful force in the universe created you and believes in you, is enough reason to believe in your value as a human being, and to walk in the world with the self-esteem that will allow you to move directly towards that mission.
Unanswered Prayers and Doubt
If we feel we don’t deserve, we are less likely to get what we pray for. Conversely, people with positive self-esteem believe in their heart-of-hearts that they deserve to have their prayers answered. That, to me, is the real law of attraction.
Those with a positive self-esteem know they deserve; not because they possess a sense of entitlement, but because they know they will use whatever is granted to them to actualize their inner potential, and to improve themselves and the world they inhabit. That is what gives them the confidence to pray, with not only hope, but with actual expectation that their prayers will be answered. And most surprising of all, people with such genuine self-confidence also, somehow, demonstrate an air of simplicity.
The Torah tells us that Moses was the humblest of men, “more humble than any other man on the face of the earth.” And it also tells us that G-d spoke to him face to face, which really means that Moses existed on the highest spiritual level.
Now imagine if Moses would have been asked about this. Would he have said, “Nah, I am nothing. G-d never spoke to me face to face”? If he would have said that, it would have been a lie. So what could he have said? As such a humble man, he would not have bragged about it and would simply have said, “Yes, it happened.” Moses believed that any other man given the same pedigree, opportunities and qualities, would have fulfilled G-d’s mission perhaps even better than he could. Still, he was fully aware that G-d gave that mission to him, and not to another, thus confirming his own individual value and responsibility to fulfill his unique purpose.
His humility did not prevent him from having positive self-confidence, yet he did not put himself above anyone else. To that end, he exemplified the perfect balance that emanates from true wisdom.